What Not To Say To A Child
by Galaxy-Defending-Hopeful
Summary: Tom and Danny adopt a child, a sweet little girl. One day, however, she says a word which makes Tom concerned and Danny almost die of laughter. Flones, implied Pudd, parent!fic, fluffy, swearing. Written for the gorgeous kbeto.


**Inspired from 'imagineyourotp' - '****Imagine your OTP has a young child who one day, unknowingly, says a swear word. Person A is horrified and scolds the child, making sure they never repeat it.'. Bloody kbeto inspired me to visit the site...and I can't get off of it any more! Meanwhile, Person B can't stop laughing.****Flones, daddy!fic, future!fic, fluff.**

* * *

Tom and Danny were the first to have children out of the two McFly couples. Dougie and Harry wanted children, certainly – but neither felt ready at aged 27 and 29, and were waiting until their thirties. Tom and Danny, however, aged 29 and 30, were completely ready for children.

"So, is there any gender or age that you'd prefer?"

"No – we just want a child to look after. We just want children..." Tom replied, twiddling his fingers. It made him incredibly anxious to be with this strange woman with the clipboard who was scribbling down everything he was saying.

"We have a very young girl, only just two, up for adoption. There's another couple that want her as well, but their financial situation isn't as tight as yours, and they're not as stable as you two. She's called Beth."

Danny hand reached out and grabbed Tom's. "When can we meet her?"

* * *

Danny and Tom immediately got on well with Beth. She was a slightly chubby toddler with little brown pigtails and big blue eyes.

"Hey, Beth, let's meet Danny and Tom!" The cheerful, slightly patronising care worker helped the small child up as she toddled over towards them. Before the care worker could lift her up to their face level, Beth sat down with a bump on Danny's shoes and clamped her dimpled arms around Danny's left leg.

"Hello hello hello hello hello hello." she babbled. The care worker smiled.

"She's not usually very talkative."

Before Danny or Tom could reply, Beth began to try and climb Danny's legs, pushing her hands all over his blue jeans and scrabbling at his thighs.

"Can I pick her up?" he asked the woman, smiling. She nodded. Slightly awkwardly, he scooped her up. For a second, she struggled a little before relaxing into his checked shirt. She looked around for a second, before focusing her eyes on Tom. She seemed to be transfixed upon his face, and seemingly without noticing she reached her pudgy fist out to Tom. He took it gently in his hand, and she suddenly said,

"Daddy! Daddies!"

* * *

Beth moved in a couple of months later, a happy, sweet child. Having lived in what was described as 'more a pit than a flat, with piles of rubbish everywhere and very little food available' in her file for the first year and a half of her life, she seemed completely happy and not at all affected. She had a particular talent for climbing and opening things, and once managed to unlock the backdoor with a key that had been hidden very well out of her eyeline. Harry and Dougie fell in love with her as soon as they met her, and she seemed fond of them as well.

"Tom!" Dougie shouted one day when he was sat alone in the living room. His voice sounded panicky, and both Tom and Danny rushed out. Beth was sat on the floor, looking giggly, and there was vomit all over Dougie's vest top and chest. Tom chuckled, and Danny fully laughed.

"She just- oh god, it smells so bad..."

"Doug, go and have a shower – Dan, can you sort out a shirt for him? I'll sort poor Beth out." Tom took charge of the conversation, suppressing the laughter fizzing up inside of him.

* * *

It was three years later, when Beth was five and a half, that it happened. Dougie and Harry were babysitting Beth alongside their son (whom they had adopted the previous year) when the word slipped out of Dougie.

"Ow, that's fucking hot!" Dougie exclaimed from the kitchen, dropping the bowl of macaroni cheese that he had prepared for the two children to have for dinner onto his foot, before shouting, "Fuck!" once more. Their son, Ben, was just gone six, and didn't particularly notice the word – he was too busy playing with the doll that Beth had brought with her. Beth, however, had developed an inquisitive mind due to Tom's consistent attempts to stimulate her brain ("As a caution against you, Dan..." Tom had grinned, gently tapping Danny's forehead. Danny had chucked a pillow at him). She guessed that 'fuck' meant very, because it made sense in the sentence. Storing it in her mind, she knew that she could use it later to impress her daddy, who loved it when she used clever words.

* * *

"Daddy!" Beth called from her bedroom. She'd been put to bed five minutes previously, but was unimpressed with the temperature of the room: Danny had left the door a crack open and the cold air from the hall was seeping in. Both men entered the room at her call – they'd been having a makeout session in their own room next door, and had decided to go together.

"Daddy, it's fucking cold in here." Beth said sadly. "Can I have another blanket?"

Tom practically did a double take.

"What did'ya say?" Danny asked, thinking he had misheard.

"It's fucking cold in here. I mean, it's really really fucking fucking cold."

Danny grinned, and suddenly sank to the floor, pressing his hands over his mouth. This was hilarious. He had never heard anything funnier come from his child's lips.

"Where did you learn that word, Beth?" Tom asked, solemnly sitting on the end of Beth's bed.

"Unc'y Dougie said it earlier. Doesn't fuck mean very? It's a new word, that's good?" Beth smiled up at Tom. "It's a fucking good word means it's a very good word!"

Tom ignored the snorting coming from Danny and tried to stay. "Right, I'll have a word with Doug tomorrow. Beth, that word doesn't mean very."

Beth looked crestfallen. "Oh, have I been using it wrong? It's a nice word, though...I like the word fuck."

Danny made an unearthly squeal.

"Beth, it's a very, very bad word. Dougie was very naughty to use it in front of you."

"What does fuck mean, then?" she asked, eyes wide.

Danny was crying by this point, his chest heaving from the floor. Tom was getting annoyed at him by now: he was trying to be serious, but Beth kept on glancing at Danny.

"It means to have sex." Tom honestly replied.

"Is that the thing with willies that my friend Jess told me about at school?"

Danny fell with a thump, lying down and shaking violently.

"Yes..." Tom felt all hope escaping him. "Look, Beth, you have to promise me never to say that word again. If you say it again, I'll put you in the naughty corner."

"Do you and daddy do the sex?"

Danny suddenly stood up and fled the room; Tom noticed a damp spot on the carpet where he had cried.

"This isn't appropriate for you, Beth – wait til you're a bit older, love."

"So I can't say fuck ever again?"

"Do you want to go in the naughty corner?"

Beth shook her head, eyes wide. "Can I?"

"Can you what, say-"

"No!" Beth quickly interrupted. "Can I have a blanket? It's cold in here."

* * *

"Dougie."

"Yeah?"

"Why on _earth _did you say fuck in front of my daughter?"

Tom, Dougie, Harry and Danny were all at Dougie and Harry's house along with a few other friends. Their children were all inside, playing in Ben's bedroom.

Dougie stared at him. "I didn't- oh..."

"She asked me what it meant! I had to tell her about sex!"

Dougie began to laugh. Danny glanced over. "Are you talking about...?"

Tom nodded.

Before long, Dougie and Danny were in tears, sat on the floor together laughing.


End file.
